Flaws

Flaws - When does a cute quirk become an irreconcilable habit? ♥

就因为不完美，所以才独一无二。

I caught a re-run of Friends the other day. Monica and Chandler go to Atlantic City for a romantic getaway, only to have Chandler miss his favorite TV show cos Monica keeps changing hotel rooms. When they return, Chandler mistakes their fight to be end until Monica explains they are in a “grown-up relationship” and couples don’t break up over a tiny flaw; they get over it and move on together.

Flaws are what make each of us human. No one says it’s going to be easy accepting and loving a person who is far from your ideal. Questions is: are you willing to put in the effort and live with a few imperfections so you can be with someone you can call your own?

Of cos, you are entitled to have your list of deal-breakers – a tendency to cheat, a lack of respect for your family, an ego more fragile than the wings of a butterfly… but you need to recognize what you can’t accept and be prepared to let go of the rest. At the risk of sounding preachy, you need to ask yourself, “Can we live this out as a couple?”

In The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle, the author writes that woman should “give up the idea of perfect man” as we can be “perfectly happy with an imperfect man”. Doyle even goes a step further to imply that those who pick on imperfections are “avoiding intimacy – probably because you’re afraid”.

I can see where she is coming from. By taking a chance on someone we think is “imperfect”, we have compromised our standards and, in a way, put ourselves in a vulnerable position.

Women have it bad, I agree. On one hand, we want to throw away our mental checklist of what makes Mr Perfect perfect. On the other hand we cannot be seen as being too easily pleased.

I suppose there’s no way to answer about this topic but to look within. To ask myself if there is enough love and trust to keep the relationship healthy. And ultimately, I’m willing to take Ms Doyle’s word and “crumple up that checklist and throw it away”. After all, as cheesy as it sounds, I believe love really does conquer all.

My lovely outfit from TokyoPink.

Love, Kanny Theng